You're hosting, or attending, a BBQ for red state neighbors? Here's some classic all-American food.
Appetizer: Chips and Salsa (MEXICO).
12 ounces (2 medium-small round or 4 or 5 plum) ripe tomatoes Fresh serrano chiles to taste (roughly 3 to 5, 1/2 to 1 ounce total, or even more if you like it really picante), stemmed A dozen or so large sprigs of cilantro 1 large garlic clove, peeled and very finely chopped (optional) 1 small (4-ounce) white onion, diced very fine by hand 1 1/2 teaspoons fresh lime juice Salt, about 3/4 teaspoon
I like my salsas chunky, but if the tomatoes are just chopped by hand, Ithe flavors don't meld together very well. Thus, I put half the tomatoes (usually the ugly parts) into the food processor, and chop the other half (the pretty colored exotic tomatoes) by hand. The garlic clove is best minced in the food processor. Otherwise, combine all and let sit a bit to meld the flavors.
Fresh crudites (bell peppers, carrots, and the like) and store-bought hummus with pita bread (ARABIA)
I'm sorry! I don't have a good recipe for hummus. I buy the junk at the supermarket but my neighbor's tastes so much better that I know there's a difference between storebought and homemade.
Satay (INDONESIA)
Beef Satay from Indonesisa: For the marinade: 2 teaspoons tamarind pulp, plus 3 tablespoons very warm water to make extract, if available (optional) 3 teaspoons whole coriander seeds 3 shallots, peeled and coarsely chopped (about 2.5 ounces total) 2 cloves garlic, peeled and coarsely chopped 1 teaspoon ground turmeric 1 piece fresh ginger, 1/2 inch long, peeled and coarsely chopped (about 1 tablespoon) 2 teaspoons dark brown sugar 1 teaspoon peanut oil, plus more for the grill 1/2 to 3/4 teaspoon salt 1 pound well-marbleized, somewhat chewy beef, such as flank steak or skirt steak, in a piece (or pieces) at least 3/4 inch thick; sirloin steak, while a bit less chewy, will also work very well About 20 sharp, thin, 10-inch-long bamboo skewers, soaked in water for at least 30 minutes and drained
Grind coriander seeds in food processor, then add other ingredients (except beef and bamboo skewers) to make a paste the consistency of mashed potatoes. You may need to add water.
Slice the beef into long, 1/4-inch-thick strips against (not with) the grain of the meat, as you would if carving a cooked piece of London broil. The pieces should be no wider than 1 inch.
Add the sliced beef to the bowl and combine it well with the marinade, making sure that every piece is coated. Allow the beef to marinate at room temperature for 1 to 2 hours.
Thread the beef strips onto the presoaked bamboo skewers, weaving the point of each skewer through the center of the beef every 1/4 inch to make sure it holds tight and remains secure while it cooks. Use 1 to 4 pieces of beef per skewer, depending on how long the pieces are, making sure that the beef extends from the tip to the middle of the skewer. Leave plenty of room so you can grab the skewer at the bottom — the meat should not extend from one end to the other.
Grill by placing each skewer on a well oiled grill rack, making sure that the beef, not the skewer, is directly over the heat. Grill the beef until it is cooked through and has begun to pick up a few crispy brown-black spots, about 2 to 5 minutes (depending on how hot the fire is). Turn the skewers over carefully and continue grilling until the other side is browned, another 2 to 5 minutes. Do not overcook the meat — it will dry out if you do.
German Potato Salad (GERMANY, duh)
8 slices bacon 3 tablespoons flour 4 teaspoons chopped onion 2/3 cup vinegar 2/3 cup water 1/2 cup sugar 4 teaspoons salt 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper 1 teaspoon powdered dry mustard 1/2 teaspoon dried rosemary leaves, or 1 1/2 tsp fresh 2 quarts cooked diced potatoes (use waxy or boiling potatoes, not baking potatoes) 1/2 cup chopped fresh parsley Fry bacon until crisp. Remove from pan, drain and crumble. Add flour and onion to the bacon fat left in the pan. Stir in vinegar, water, sugar, salt and spices. Cook only until mixture is of medium thickness. Add to potatoes, parsley and crumbled bacon. Mix carefully to prevent mashing the potatoes.
Watermelon (AFRICA) and Kiwi fruit (NEW ZEALAND) salad:
1 8-pound watermelon, peeled, cut into 1-inch pieces (about 16 cups) 2 kiwi fruit (about 1 cup), peeled and sliced thin 1 cup fresh lemon juice 2/3 cup sugar 1/2 cup vodka 6 tablespoons crème de cassis 1/4 cup chopped fresh mint Combine lemon juice, sugar, vodka, and creme de cassis, and pour over watermelon. Add kiwi slices and mint just before serving.
Serve with a good FRENCH wine, JAPANESE beer, and/or mixed drinks with CARIBBEAN rum, RUSSIAN vodka, and MEXICAN tequila. Listen to your neighbors complain about foreigners ruining America. Laugh at them, not with them.
